Michael Kacer walked down the mixed zone with sweat dripping down his face. His bout ended at least 5 minutes earlier, but he was still out of breath. Visibly emotional, Kacer knew today might be his final day competing in a high level event like the Parapan American Games.

Kacer struggled in his quarterfinals bout against Brazil’s Claro Lopes, but at one point with around four minutes left, Kacer had a lead. He couldn’t maintain it and “panicked,” which allowed Lopes to take over and score most of his 28 points in the remaining minute. Kacer has scar tissue on his lungs from his injury, which makes it harder to sustain stamina. Especially since the rule change from two minute bouts to five minute bouts, the need for stamina had only increased. 

The 41 year-old, who competes in the men’s 80kg division, gave every effort he could on the competition mat. However, with his age and stamina, it was not enough against Lopes, and he lost 28-8.  Even in the loss and what could have been his last Parapan American games, Kacer was reminded of the positives of Taekwondo and how the sport has helped him.

“He just made the corrections, and I didn’t,” Kacer said. “I don’t know if this is going to be my last PanAm games or not… there’s a lot of mental stuff that goes behind it and in another four years my daughter will be eight years old and it’s about how much of that portion of her life will I be missing.”

Growing up, Kacer had planned to be a lifelong U.S. military member, and he enlisted in the Army when he was just 17 years old. His aunts, uncles, and Dad all were in the military, and he wanted to carry on that lineage. Since then, his life has been representing the USA, whether it was for Team USA or for the military. 

However, his time in the military was cut short when he was hit by a mortar and was sent into a coma for 10 days. He lost 86 pounds and had a slew of injuries. After the injury, he was lost and turned to drugs and alcohol as an outlet, which causes dark times. 

It wasn’t until he rediscovered sports that he found a positive outlet. Growing up, Kacer struggled socially at times, but sports was his go-to for making friends and relating to people. For Team USA, he initially competed in track and field in the 100 meter, 200 meter and long jump events.

He was never able to fully develop in the sport before it was too late, as he was 33 when a group of younger athletes surpassed him. At the time, he struggled again in a negative headspace and was two years sober. He almost lost it but was brought into Taekwondo by other military veterans like him.

It gave him family and camaraderie, and even with athletes from different countries there was support amongst themselves. After Kacer lost, he showed respect to Lopes and held his arm up to the crowd, which cheered them both back on in response. 

The greatest lesson Kacer was taught in basic training was that life is three minutes and you only have two minutes to live. The same feeling is applied to when he competes in a bout, and he’s able to emulate that feeling he had in combat when he steps on the mat. 

“Despite what the score says, despite whatever it looks like — 100% of everything is laid out on that mat when I get out there every single time,” Kacer said.

For more photos from this event, click here.